mangled meanings..

The darkness within engulfs the outer presence.. Am I sinking or am I just surfacing.. does the true essence of once personality comes in the darkest of all times???

Is there a destination? or are we better without one?? shall I just follow those basic of all instincts?? how many of us do?? but if it is that personal then why is it about others?

How can you have target to aim at when all you want to do is destroy the last shreds of communal loving into pieces??

Will I ever straighten out this twisted, intoxicated, morsel of a life??? Or do I enjoy the flow of nothingness way too much?

Why don't you find amusements in these anecdotes of life any more??

When did the guilty pleasures lost there 'guilt' ????

Is it time to stop asking questions ans start building up answers??

I think it is.... ;)

what time it is????

Its 6.30 in evening, i am at my apartment, how??? i shouldn't be here.. i have a pizza and im drinking something out of a bottle... is this correct??? okay its not correct.. what is the last thing i remember??? okay i was trying to figure out the elasto plastic behavior of multistory buildings under dynamic loading.. does that sounds smart?? well it is.. :) hmmm after that i imbibed something.. and the next thing i remember, I'm infront of gate.. u need a student ID and a ID to get in, i got them both and left them in the car.. why?? it was too windy....

okay we started walking around the parameter.. its long.. loo and behold, some body opened a gate, i m in.. I'm at the center of the party...

"How did we get in here??" i ask Garett...
"I dont know!!!!" comes the reply....
he is as surprised as I'm....
WE ARE THIRSTY!!!!!!!

I see a last name tattooed on a back-- It says "AVERELL"...
I know that last name..... I trace it through the crowd, ooh yeah thats my room mate "Pat"....
I find him out...
Pat has a drink...... how???
Pat says i need to get a cup.. okay????
somebody hands me a cup....
"Good..."
I'm not thirsty any more.. Life is beautiful....

We do a lap...

I slap hands with boys I have known for some time....
"What Time is it?"
Its just 3 o clock...
I want to sit down.... "X" gets some pouches...
They are good...

Two girls are kissing each other.. Haven,t seen that before.. good.. :)
another lap.. some more home boys.. as they call them... :)...

It's too hot to take off the shades.... the shades are gift from some one lost loong time ago.. hope she is fine.....
what time it is??
"It's 4 o clock"...

There are a bunch of girls up on the balcony.. they are putting up a show for us... we are shouting... A strong wind is blowing.. my friend throws a football spot on to the balcony.. people are screaming.. we want some 't.....s'

some body throws ice on me.... then hands me a pouch.. lifes still good..

We are heading home.. Pick up some liquids on the way... I want to drive the BMW.. my freinds hands it to me.. it FLIES...... sun is low.. lifes good.. We are back... Pizza comes over.. and the bottle...

I want to write.. I do,..

Tonight is a friends bday.. we are going out again..
Lifes still good....
Waiting.... Wishing...

sunday evenings and a road in banglore...

hi,

after a long time i am in a state at which i use to spend all my sunday evenings back in bangalore.... the sweatnes of evening comming along, the light warmth of dusky sun slowly openning your pores.. the oncomming chill in the wind, the lightness of vision and heavyness of thoughts... those taste buds which open up, the smell of rustlling leaves fullfilling your entity.. those floating dreams in blue haze... those wind chime music of ringing laughter from those preaty lips... a fludity, subtel yet so turbid enough to stop the conversations between nerve endings........ ohh i miss that bliss of carelessness.... and i miss my freinds.... miss my beast between the legs, a throbbing, thumping flying ride, my bike.. ;) flotation on this magic carpet of memories is the best ride i have had..

till the next time,
keep LIVING!!!!!!
Alastor(sid).......